Saturday, June 18, 2011

Warriors

A couple days ago I ran into a mom at therapy whose daughter has some similar delays as P. She stopped me in the parking lot and we talked a little about schools and therapy and then she told me her daughter had another MRI. There were new findings and the doctors were more perplexed now about a possible diagnosis than before (if that is even possible). She told me she hadn't told anyone because it was just so awful and hard and no one would really understand. But that she knew I did.

Someone pinch me. When did I start understanding this hard stuff? This world of unknowns involving our most precious, treasured children. When did I start grasping the grief process that occurs when you realize your son or daughter is not developing like a typical child? Or the mourning that comes when hopes and dreams for your child start looking a little (or a lot) different.

Then today I saw another sweet friend also walking this road of special needs. She was down about something a therapist had said. As she talked, the tears starting filling her eyes. My own eyes watered as I listened and sympathized.

These moms are heroes. The lengths they go to advocate for their children, the paperwork and processes that have so many loopholes and are terribly time consuming, the therapies, the doctor's appointments, the research, the never ending list of to-do's and feelings of they could be doing more. I could go on forever. I have come to love not only these special kids but the moms that are their warriors. It's like an instant connection and understanding - a club we all belong to but wish so badly we didn't.

Oh Lord, help us. Pray for us. Being a mom is hard enough when you have typical children but then throwing in all these "extras" is crazy hard. I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for the hope I have in Christ. Knowing and believing that my life is not my own makes this journey
bearable, even joyful. I repeat in my head multiple times a day, "for the glory of God." When I'm giving P his tackle box full of vitamins for breakfast, lunch, and dinner plus the 6 syringes of intestinal cleanse we shoot down him every single night..."for the glory of God." When I'm frustrated we can't just be spontaneous because of P's motor challenges and special diet..."for the glory of God." When I'm struggling with desiring a more normal life (whatever that means,right?)..."for the glory of God." And when I am feeling down for P and what I think he's missing out on..."for the glory of God."

Now, I am so aware that we just have a taste of special needs. We have only scratched the surface. So many moms and dads live out our lives plus so much more. They probably look at me and think I don't even have a clue.

I will forever be committed to these families that have been blessed with special children. Children that were wonderfully made in the image of their Creator. Children who I'm convinced know more about the Kingdom of God than we do. I always tell the Lord that no matter what Price's life looks like, I will care for and love on these children. I will pray for and care for the families. They must see Christ. I beg the Lord to heal our son and to give us wisdom concerning His care. I tell Him that no matter if He grants our requests or not, we will use this trial to glorify Him forever.

{And not to leave Nathan out on this Father's Day. He had some pretty tall shoes to fill when it came to being a father because my own dad was and still is the very best. But, I must say he's surpassed my expectations. He was made to be a father. Just the other day I overheard him telling P to crawl to him (as opposed to roll as we are trying to discourage it now that he is moving forward). When Price reached him, Nathan threw him up in the air and declared, "Good job, bro-bro. You are my strong boy." I am blessed to be on this journey with my best friend. He's one amazing dad.}

4 comments:

Paige said...

I'm so proud of your attitude. I can't say it enough, but you are one amazing momma. I know the Lord is incredibly proud to call you his daughter;)

Marcey said...

Love your perspective Kristen & so glad to see the progress Price is making. Thanks for sharing. Marcey

Amanda said...

Beautiful, Kristen.

Cocktails and Cupcakes said...

What a beautiful post. These children are the ones who truly show us what Christ is all about. Not only are they special, but we are special for having them in our lives.

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