Tuesday, October 26, 2010

thoughts from a sleep-deprived mom

having a newborn is a lot of work...why do we forget this?

street weighed 10 lbs, 6 oz last friday. the dr said he didn't need to eat every 4 hrs at night. he has been waking up about every 2-3 hrs to eat at night. am i a bad mom for letting him cry 5 min last night in an attempt to get him to go back to sleep without eating? it was out of desperation and it worked.

i so desperately want price to talk. the crying is getting very old. i think i am treating him more like a toddler now that we have a baby in the house. i decided if i treat him like a baby, he will act like one.

wow, i sound like a mean mom. we really are doing great. street fits right in.

yesterday i asked nathan if i could die from no sleep. he said yes.

i was off therapy duty for 2 weeks but it starts again this week. price was so happy when i picked him up on monday. it made me feel so good.

price is very interested in his baby brother all of a sudden. i see the beginnings of a life-long friendship. we have been praying constantly for price's healing and development. why do i feel like street is just part of the Lord's answering of that prayer?

speaking of price, his lumbar puncture went just fine last week. we won't get results for months. there is only one place in the entire usa that tests for what we are testing for.

i have been doing alot of late night thinking about suffering. i came to the realization that suffering will never end here on earth. i always knew this but it really hit me. it makes me long for Jesus to return.

nathan and i have been doing a lot of talking about price and our hopes and prayers for him. i said we are running a marathon. i don't care when we get to the finish line, i just want to get there. nathan corrected me and said we are walking the marathon. so true!

ellery is sounding out every word she says lately. it's funny and awesome to see her learning more and more each day. i am just crazy about her.

poor street..i am watching him like a hawk. is he smiling? is his head control okay? etc. etc. i have to remind myself that he is only 2 weeks old. i kind of want to fast forward to a year old and see him walking but then i know i need to take it one day at a time and enjoy him.

i hope to post pictures of streeter tomorrow. what a blessing.


Katie said...

Love your thoughts. You are not a bad mom. Trust your instincts and know that you are not alone...He is always with you!

So sweet that Price and Street are already besties! Miss Ellery is a big help too, I'm sure :)

And as far as sleep goes...can you get babysitters in the middle of the day just so you can nap? Don't think I haven't considered it!

The Wells Family said...

these are my favorite blog posts ever.
so real, so true, and very funny.
love you girl - hang in there - and we are all walking, jogging, or running this marathon at different points...

cindy gatewood said...

You are doing some serious thinking for being sleep deprived! Ha ha
I love that you appreciate E,P& S for who they are individually but see how they all come together in the family plan! And we KNOW there's a plan. Thanks, N, for being right there with K!


Kristen said...

We do have someone that can help out during the day. Problem is it's just so that I can get e and p to where they need to go! Sleep,sleep,sleep with your 1st baby. You will never get that chance again. All this to say, I do know that there is an end in sight and sleep will come. I am trying my best to enjoy the nights just s and I!
Hope to see y'all this weekend!

glenda said...

Loved reading your random thoughts! Boy did it bring back memories.....I think the first year of motherhood, all I prayed for was a full 8n hrs. of interrupted sleep. Having had only 2 children I can't imagine putting a 3rd in the mix.

I know these last couple of yrs. have been trying to say the least, but watching you face these hurdles with commitment and faith have been an inspiration to all who know you! You and Nathan are such loving parents and you should know that there are many of us out here cheering you on in your marathon! Street is one lucky baby to have been blessed
being born to your sweet family!

Amanda said...

I just love you. That is all.

d said...

Remember to make just a little time for yourself so you will have the endurance for this very rewarding marathon.
Miss you,

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