Monday, August 30, 2010

Words

I have met so many moms at therapy and most of them are as nice as can be. Some of them have children who are just there for speech therapy or physical therapy, and then there are moms like me whose little ones are in speech, occupational, and physical therapy...all three. I have shed tears with a few of the moms and for the most part enjoyed getting to know families who are walking through similar circumstances.

All that to say, it has mostly been a positive experience even though I would much rather be doing other things with our time. Today though, one of the moms caught me completely off guard. I am sure she was just trying to make conversation and didn't really THINK about what was coming out of her mouth, but I have replayed the conversation in my head a hundred times and wish I would have said something.

She was asking me about my pregnancy...how much further, did we plan it, etc. etc. The truth is that this pregnancy was not planned. It was an unexpected blessing. So this mom said to me, "Well aren't you glad you got pregnant? I mean, Price is special needs. He might be special needs his entire life. Don't you owe it to Ellery to give her a normal little brother or sister?"

I was stunned, shocked, completely taken off guard. I think my mouth was wide open as I just stared at her. I didn't really respond. I think I just went back to reading the magazine that was in my hand.

I have never really thought of Price as special needs, but really he is. He has special needs. And yes, he may have them his entire life. It is a possibility although I am believing the Lord to heal him completely and have the faith that He will do it. And Ellery deserving a "normal" sibling? What is normal may I ask? And no, as a matter of fact, Price IS the perfect little brother for Ellery because that was the Lord's design for our family.


I was shocked and slightly disgusted more than anything but tonight when I was telling Nathan about the conversation, my emotions got the best of me. As the four of us were playing/talking in the EMPTY baby room tonight, however, the Lord gave me a sweet glimpse of my family. We had gotten out an old tunnel of Ellery's and I watched as Ellery and Price interacted together. No, it was not in the typical way that a 2 year old and a 4 year old would play, but it was in their own unique and perfect-to-me way.

16 comments:

Melanie said...

Wow! Really people. You know, you hit it right on the nail when you said, "What is normal, may I ask?" Each of the spirits we receive in our families come with their own personality and their own set of trials. This trial for Price may be exhausting in many ways, but he also comes with so many strengths that will and already are richly blessing your family. My little Taylor struggles with her anxieties and it is so hard for me to watch but at the same time, she came with some very powerful strengths that only she brings to our family. She doesn't seek outward for acceptance. She wants us. She needs us. And because of that, our family draws together more. We celebrate traditions more because she needs them and makes them happen. Ellery will be more sensitive and accepting of people because of Price. Price may be blessed with less temptation as a teenager because of the strength & confidence he is gaining now as a little one. We cannot see all the reasons and blessings but they are there and I agree that your little family is nothing short of perfect!

Tabaitha Kaye said...

I wish I could just hug you. I'm sorry you had to experience those words today, but you said it perfectly saying that Price is the perfect little brother for Ellery, because the Lord designed it that way.

Kiki said...

Oh Kristen, you're right, people just don't think.

And my words just aren't doing justice to what I'm trying to say.

I love to think on Psalm 139. How God knitted Price together in your womb and made him wonderful and beautiful. Every person is God's creation and every person He made perfect. I think of Kolby's feet and how unperfect they were (and are) to the world, but to God, they were perfectly formed. And I wonder what those perfectly formed feet are going to do for God one day. Same with Price, he was perfectly formed in your womb. What does God have in store for him one day?! It's obvious that your family is bringing great glory to God as you walk through this with Price.

/End Sermon!

Matt & Leigh Anne said...

Seriously, some people. I'm so glad you are so wise, and know Price has a wonderful plan made by the Greatest Planner. Keep doing what you are doing!

cindy gatewood said...

My heart aches for you; however, God chose YOU to be the perfect Mom for sweet Price. Don't know what we'd do without him! :)

The Fab 4 said...

You know, I really don't understand what people are thinking (if they are) when they say things like that. As you know, we have quadruplets, and you wouldn't believe the reactions I get from people when they find out. It still baffles me and they are almost 2. But, God chose us to do a special job and to raise our BLESSINGS to the best of our ability. So, if they don't have the decency to say something nice, all I can do is pray for them. You are doing an INCREDIBLE job with your children and we pray for your family every day. I am so very proud of Price and know that he will continue to thrive as he gets older! God Bless!

-Marcel and Laura Meijer

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Hugs...Some people say things that just make me wonder what they are really thinking...You have a beautiful family and have not commented much but love your blog

Just have a few minutes to blog hop...so glad that I stopped here....Have a great week.

Marcey said...

:) Love your attitude Kristen. Price will be fine and your attitude and perspective will help him more than anything. You'll meet other women like that one. They don't get it. Hang on to what you believe. Other moms need to talk/listen to someone with your attitude and perspective. It'll change their lives.

I know you don't know me. Your mil shared your blog with me and I read it on occassion. Your attitude about everything makes me smile. I love it!

Lyndsay said...

I'm so sorry that you had to endure such a painful conversation. Price is definitely the perfect brother for Ellery and your newest little one will be perfect for them also. Being one of 6 kids I have definitely found that each of my siblings enriches my life in a different way and I am so so thankful for them and can't even begin to imagine my life without them. As far as normal, who knows what it is - Walker used to carry around a spatula and once asked to sleep with a can of tomato sauce! :) He is out of his chef/utensil love phase but I'm sure it will be something else soon!

glenda said...

Kristen, it brought tears to my eyes when I read how insensitive that woman was in saying those things to you! Obviously, she does not know Price, or the joy he is, or his smile that lights up a room. Because if she did, she would realize that he is a special gift from God that not every family is worthy of. God knew you would be the best, most caring and loving mom for Price, and that Ellery would love him unconditionally! Your newest baby is so lucky to be joining your loving family!

glenda said...

Kristin, It brought tears to my eyes to read what that women so rudely said to you! She obviously does not know Price, or that his smile lights up a room! God chose to give Price to a special mom who would nurture him and fight for him and understand that he is a "blessing".
The new baby will soon learn how lucky to be born into the Stedham family as you all are a testament to the Lord!

melody mccain dowdy said...

Jeremiah 29:11 sometimes it's all i can quote.
thanks for sharing your heart with us!!!

Teresa L. Mason said...

This breaks my heart. and you are exactly right....What is normal anyway? I'm so proud that you are such a Godly woman who recognizes that Ellery and Price were God's plan for your family. My brother is special needs and he is the most compassionate person I have ever met towards his classmates and other kids that may not be considered "normal" to some ignorant people like the woman you spoke to today. I have a feeling Ellery is going to grow into a stong, compassionate Godly person, just like Michael..who doesn't even think twice about labeling another person as "special" and instead she will love them for exactly who God made them to be. Just like you. You are amazing Kristen.

Lindsay Wagner said...

OH! that BURNS ME UP!!!! seriously, some people just need to not say anything at all. and of course you handled it with utter style, a classy woman you truly are. i should be more that way...there is NO telling what would have come out of my mouth. price has been designed PERFECTLY in the Lord's will, and he was added to your family in the Lord's PERFECT plan! love your family, and DYING to know if charley or street is coming in october!!!

cristin steger said...

thinking and praying for your family daily! i think you are a great mom, and I hope to meet your beautful children one day. Did u ever meet tiffany gracely tyler? her son gray goes to the same school! I told her you would be a great person to talk to!!! love ya mean it cristin
congrats on being an aunt!!! piper is a beauty!

Pamela Perkins said...

Hi Kristen,

Thank you for sharing your joys and trials in motherhood. Your blog makes me cry for you but I also know God has equipped you to be the mother you are. Ellery and Price are both precious and precious to my heart. I think it is amazing and beautiful that you are recognizing God's perfect and beautiful design in your family. May He be glorified in all you do. I know your sweet children will be great models of HIS Love for many people, including me. We adore y'all.

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